he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
