We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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