We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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