If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
