I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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