bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
this is an emotional support booty call
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
