Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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