hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
