He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
