is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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