i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize