She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
