New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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