i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
