What did we do last night that was yellow?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
