In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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