the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
