Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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