I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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