i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
