totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
