whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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