You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
