her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize