Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
