so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize