we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
