My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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