After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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