Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
