Screwed.edu
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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