you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
