And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
