He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
