the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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