FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
bring money and cleavage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize