if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
