she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
