Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want to stick my p in your. b.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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