i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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