well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
