Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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