Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
