Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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