i just google imaged poop.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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