Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
