So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
