they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
