Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
