Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
