Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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