Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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