Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
