She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize