Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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