So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
