I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
