u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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