Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
