she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
