my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
