Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.