I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas