Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she told me i tasted like america
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?