Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
