Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
