Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
